I'm not leaving without you
by Larkafree
Summary: Dean finds "the angel" while in Purgatory and makes sure he knows just how much they mean to each other. Cass feels he does not deserve redemption or saving. Can Dean convince him otherwise? Slash. Dean/Cass
1. Chapter 1

**This is a little idea I come up with yesterday before work while discussing the lastest episode of yummy Dean and Cass. I can't wait for Cass to get out and see his Dean again. Reunion Sex is AWESOME!**

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Dean was thankful he had indeed found the angel, his angel, by the river as the monster he had gotten the information out of stated.

Castiel was leaning down by the water, but didn't turn to look at hearing his name being called. He thought he imagined it the first time, but it repeated and got closer. He stands up and turns in the direction of the voice and sees a man, a human man standing near the treeline. He walks closer and Cass realizes it is in fact Dean, his Dean.

Dean opens his arms for a hug, but Cass is distant, almost mechanical in his posture. Dean wonders why, but brushes it off quickly. They have been trapped in fricken' Purgatory for some time now, things were bound to change.

That evening Benny, Dean's vampire friend was on watch, keeping his eyes open for any threats. Dean had taken Cass into a small clearing to talk. When Dean stated he wanted to talk Cass thought he actually meant talk, but was instantly pushed into a tree trunk while his lips, covered in dirt and grime were assaulted, Dean would call it a kiss, but there was too much need and desire put into this one action Cass knew in that moment he was doomed, they both were. He kisses back, putting just as much passion into the assault as he can muster without hurting the human, his human companion.

They were intimate previously, when he was falling from grace. Dean was to be Michael, the archangel Michael's vessel for the big show down of all time, the apocalypse, but it was different now, they were different now. Castiel had betrayed Dean's trust and sided with a demon, the king of Hell to be exact, for control of the fifty million souls kept in Purgatory. Dean was crushed to find out his angel and lover had gone 'darkside'. Cass double crossed Crowley in the end, taking all fifty million souls into himself; proclaiming to be the new God.

The look in Dean's eyes as he knelt before his lover was heartbreaking, but Castiel was stronger now and the souls spoke to him, telling him to kill anyone who defied him. They wanted all the Winchesters dead, their blood spilt across the cold cement ground, but Castiel instead pushed them aside and left. He could never bring harm to his lover and mate. He loved, loves Dean even if Dean hates him at that moment. He did it, all of it for Dean, to protect him and his brother from the fate of restarting the Apocalypse.

Cass is brought back to the present by Dean nipping at his neck. He responds by pushing Dean back into another tree and pulls off his jacket, kissing him, showing his remorse and undying love for his human charge.

Dean grins slyly and pushes off Cass' tattered trench coat, it falls to the leave strewn ground in a heap and more clothes get thrown off in the process, mostly just their pants. If there's one thing Dean has learnt while in Purgatory it's always be ready for a fight, never get caught unaware and fuck with your pants on your hips for a quick getaway.

Benny promised to watch for trouble so Dean lets the 'fuck with your pants on your hips' rules slide, just this once. This is his angel after all, he'll sense when a monster is getting close and smite it.

Cass is pushed against another tree and his pants pushed to his ankles. His breath catches at the feel of Dean pushing his hardened cock against the back of his leg. He needs this so bad, but didn't think they could ever, would ever be together again. He ran upon first landing in Purgatory to protect his human from the Leviathans that were very pissed about being back in their prison.

Dean made it perfectly clear they were getting out of this place and Dean wasn't letting Cass out of his sight again. He even threatened to chase after him if needed. Cass swallowed back the uncomfortable lump in his throat at hearing Dean proclaim his devotion to him. They still didn't know if Cass could squeeze through to the other side, but Dean wasn't taking no for an answer.

Dean spits on his hand and whispers into Cass' ear, "do you need to be prepped, or can we just screw?" He nips at Cass' earlobe as his hand moves to embrace Cass around the waist.

Cass shakes his head and responds, turning his head to look at Dean behind him. "I do not require preparation; just take me as I am, Dean Winchester."

Dean rubs his throbbing cock and spits on his hand some more, wanting more lubrication. He lines his cock to Cass' ass and pushes in slow and steady. He exhales loudly as he feels how tight Cass is, even after so long of not being together he always enjoyed being with his angel, his Cass, the most.

Cass is in pain, he deserves all the pain for he betrayed his friend, his lover, his soul mate. This is how Cass decides to punish himself, let Dean fuck him roughly, without preparation.

Dean pushes into Cass thrusting his hips, enjoying the feeling of finally being sheathed in his angel.

Cass is pushed up against the tree, feeling the rough, almost animalistic thrusts of his lover. He moans, the fullness is like nothing else he knows, or can remember for millennia. He loves Dean, would die for Dean, has died for him, numerous times. He pushes back against Dean's movements and groans when he feels Dean's cock rub his sweet spot. His head drops at the sensation, fingers clenching into the rough bark of the tree. Suddenly Dean pulls his cock from Cass and digs his fingers into Cass' hip.

Dean pulls out of Cass with all his internal strength and flips his angel around. He wants to see his lover's face when they come. He needs the intimacy, especially now that they are finally together again, even if they are in Purgatory, of all places when they make up. He slips his hands under and around Cass' legs, pulling the angel up onto his cock, and leans him against the tree.

Cass feels as Dean lifts him up and onto his rock hard cock, he wraps his legs around his hunter's waist, resting on his hips, and leans his weight against the tree behind him. Dean pounds into him with vigor. Cass is feeling the most amazing ecstasy he has encountered in months, since before they fought, before Cass made that stupid deal. He leans in and claims his charge's lips, nipping and biting as they deepen their connection. Cass opens his mouth to breathe in Dean's unique scent, an aroma that screams Dean Winchester, Righteous Man, Michael's vessel. Dean takes the opportunity and pushes his tongue into Cass' mouth, roaming, rediscovering what was once all his. Dean moans, Cass groans and they both pant as Dean thrusts into his angel relentlessly, wanting to fuck the grace out of him, slowly, but surely making certain Castiel, Angel of the Lord, remembers that he was bonded, mated to a human.

Cass' head falls back, hitting the tree as he is overwhelmed by the assault Dean is giving his prostate. His arms that are wrapped around Dean's shoulders tighten as he feels his orgasm burst through his self-controlled wall. He screams out his ecstasy, muscles tightening around Dean's cock, milking his orgasm to the surface as well. Dean grunts out his orgasm, kissing and biting Cass' lips and neck. They stay in each other's arms as they come down from their sexual high. Dean smiles, it's the first smile Cass has seen Dean give since first finding him by the river and promising to not leave him behind again. He forgot how much he missed seeing Dean smile or laugh and even smirk for that matter. He unwraps his legs from Dean's hips and places his feet back on the ground.

Dean moves in closer and whispers into his ear, "you're mine. Don't ever forget that or think otherwise. We ARE getting out of here, Castiel."

Cass just looks into Dean's green eyes and nods, "I understand, Dean. I will attract more attention with you though. You should leave me behind, I deserve it after all. I've done terrible things in the pursuit of righteousness. I should be left here to die. I don't deserve you…" he trails off trying to make his point, unsuccessfully. He sees the hurt in Dean's eyes; this was meant to be them repairing what was broken, damaged beyond repair.

Dean shakes his head in disapproval, "no Cass, we are leaving and you are coming with us, I don't care what you think. I'm not leaving you, ever again." Dean does not let slip a gasp or shed a tear, men, especially Winchesters do not cry, ever.

Cass drops his gaze to the ground and puts his hospital pants back on, tying a knot with the string, avoiding making eye contact with his lover.

Dean is tired of Cass' avoidance, it ends here and now. He reaches his hand out and places his hand under his angel's chin, lifting his head to eye level. "Cass, listen to me here and now. You HAVE paid your debt, your slate is clean. Get your ass going we head out for the escape tomorrow, first light, no exceptions!"

Cass' face twitches and he smiles, it's a small smile, but it's there none the less. "Thank you, Dean." He kisses Dean's lips chastely and walks away.

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**This was to be a one-shot, but I think it can be made into more. As long as they keep giving us hints as to the events of Dean, Cass and Benny in Purgatory I can continue. Maybe it'll be 3 chapters  
?!**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is my attempt at continuing this fic. It's a new writing style, I'm unsure if I can keep the style up.**

**Thank you to all the readers who have reviewed and favourited and are following this story. It makes me smile to know I can improve upon my writing and branch out from my comfort zone.**

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It took weeks for Benny and Castiel to stop their bickering, but eventually Dean got them to call a truce on the matter, for Dean's sake.

Cass was willing to do anything Dean asked of him, as usual, that included keeping his opinions upon the matter of the 'Escape plan' to himself. He was never allowed to voice his concern that an angel was never meant to be in Purgatory so it was not possible to escape in the same manner that Dean was.

It has been a week since the last time Dean and Cass had been 'together', Cass was certain Dean was enjoying their little rendevouzes in the forest.

That thought brought Cass to the memory of just after Sam had managed to overpower Lucifer, The All-Powerful Devil and got him back into the cage, incidentally along with Michael, in Adam Milligan's body. Dean had survived the encounter, thankfully. Cass was mysteriously returned to Dean, alive and powers intact, to heal his charge, his friend. No one ever explained the 'Winchester way' in its entirety to Castiel, but he knew something was up when Dean thanked Cass and packed his things to head to Lisa.

Cass knew Dean promised Sam he would find his 'apple pie' life with Lisa. The angel hoped, prayed that if Dean would ever break a promise to his family, it would have been this one. Sam was gone, trapped in the cage with Lucifer and Michael to torture him. Why couldn't Dean just forget the promise? Why couldn't he try to move on and still hunt? Still spend his time with Castiel, his angel, his friend, his confidante?

Instead Dean drove off into the sunset, leaving Cass on the side of the road, metaphorically. He was sad, yes, but he also felt something else, betrayal perhaps? No this emotion was something else entirely. Cass steeled his emotions, the hurt, the sorrow, the tribulation and focused it all into waging the civil war in Heaven. He tried, he really did, but time and time again he could be found watching over Dean, making sure he was safe, loved and not in pain. It didn't even occur to him to ask, actually ask Dean himself if he was happy.

If he had Cass would have known Dean was feeling the same loneliness, the same seclusion, and isolation that he was. It could have ended Dean's suffering and Castiel's, but alas, Cass thought he was, would be intruding upon Dean's new life, his 'happy', normal, 'apple pie' life.

Talking, asking someone their hopes, dreams, aspirations was not a topic Dean, or even a Winchester would deem mandatory. Dean taught Cass to not talk about feelings, which was why he was watching his charge from a distance, instead of showing himself.

Castiel would not let that happen again, not while he could offer himself, his own flesh and body to Dean, as a peace offering, for his sins.

Cass decided to 'man-up' and ask Dean, actually talk to him about his opinions, even if he got yelled at, or punched or and he was hoping for this, left behind, kicked to the curb, once again.

"Dean, can we talk?" Cass pulls the hunter aside just after dusk.

Benny is building a fire; it gets cold this time of season apparently.

Dean nods, "I guess, we can't really do much else." Dean shrugs.

Cass takes a deep breath and gives a weak smile at Dean's joke. "I want to know why you left. Why you went to Lisa. And don't say because you promised Sam." Cass goes to lean against a tree, attempting to look unconcerned with Dean's response, but he is the complete opposite, he needs, craves the answer. His grace has desired, craved this for years, even when he was fifty million souls full he wanted to know.

Dean looks over at the angel, his lover and sees hurt, betrayal lined in the angelic blue orbs and glances down at the dirt at his feet. He kicks some grass as a distraction while he tries, desperately to put it into words so Cass can understand, will accept as the truth. "I..." he stops and shakes his head. "Sam asked it 'cause he thought Lisa was what I wanted, needed to be happy."

Cass nods, "I understand," he looks down, but peeks up for a second to see Dean standing nervously.

"I went because I just lost my brother, the only real family I had to the fricken' Devil, Cass. What do you want me to say? I was grieving and you left!" Dean's voice rises at the end in anger.

Cass takes a step closer to Dean. "I DID NOT leave you! You dumped me on the road as soon as the car was fixed and watched me in the rear-view." Cass lowers his voice and his head, "I thought we were family, you called me brother, we shared an alcoholic beverage in a drinking establishment, but in the end you did not care for me. I defied Heaven to keep you from Michael and you repay my sacrifice, my love by bedding a woman. I thought what we had was enough!"

They both look at the other in silence.

Dean never knew Cass felt this way about him going to Lisa.

Cass thought it was what Dean truly wanted, at the time he accepted he was not enough, could never be enough. He could not give Dean a home, a family, a normal existence.

Misunderstanding, it is what drives the demon economy, so to speak.

The silence is broken by Dean taking a step towards his angel and strokes his cheek, slowly and lovingly. "If you wanted me to stay all you had to do was say the word."

Cass looks up, making eye contact, "And what word was that? I thought we…cared for each other."

Dean leans down and places a kiss on Cass' chin and coaxes him to lift his chin. "You never asked me to stay. I thought you regretted our time together. You were a fully re-instated angel. When you were falling it was casual sex. But once you are a full powered angel you didn't act the same."

"I never regretted, will never regret our time copulating, fornicating on Sam's bed, or the couch or the shower." Cass' face flushes. "You taught me what it meant to be human, to love another. I worship you as my saviour." Cass turns his head away, trying to hide his face once again. "I didn't think I had to ask, saying the words went against everything you taught me. 'Winchester 101', never talk about feelings, chick-flick moments are repulsive and to be avoided, at all cost, at all times." Cass recites Dean's words from a previous time.

"Cass, this was one of the few times, you needed to tell me what you were thinking, feeling. I can't read minds like you. I was trying to fulfill my dead brother's last wish. If I knew how much leaving you behind meant at the time, I would have asked you to come with me, Lisa and Ben would have understood or better yet, if you told me we are soul-mates I would never have gone, even if Sammy begged it of me." Dean leans in and places a chaste kiss upon Cass' pouty lips and wraps his fingers around the trench coat lapels, pulling Cass away from the tree and into his arms.

Cass lets Dean move him, he is an angel after all, if he didn't want to be moved no force in Purgatory or Earth could. Dean's hands reach inside the coat and push it off his shoulder, sliding it to the ground. Dean sucks a small bruise on Cass' neck, lapping up the angelic scent that is unique to his angel, his lover. Cass' hospital shirt is the next to be removed. It gets tossed over Dean's head to the ground. Dean's hands roam over the chest of the most Heavenly being Dean has ever been with. Cass pushes Dean away, giving a hungry look and jumps as Dean, hopping into his arms.

Dean gasps, but manages to catch the angel. He walks them to a tree stump near the edge of the forest and sets his angel down. Dean gets an idea and grabs the torn and tattered trench coat from the ground. The hunter picks Cass up and lays the trench coat down, covering the tree stump, protecting the angel from the jagged bark.

Cass lets his pants slip off his hips with a grin. Cass has no idea why but he feels happier, lighter. Maybe talking about feelings is not always a bad idea, Dean could be wrong, it doesn't happen often, but it's possible, from time to time that is.

Dean admires the naked man before him and smirks. This is his man, his angel, and lover, soul mate, naked and willing.

Cass goes to turn around, but Dean stops him. "No, we have sex face to face from now on and no more telling me you don't need to be opened up! I know you are lying, you made me make you bleed, angel or not we do this the proper way from now on." Dean is stern in his speech.

Cass just nods, "yes Dean."

Dean pushes Cass' butt onto the stump and kneels before him, taking the angel's erection into his calloused hand and strokes up and down the shaft.

Cass moans quietly, they are still in a very dangerous place; he has to be quiet at all times. They are the two brightest beacons in the entirety of Purgatory.

Dean strokes Cass' cock to a slow rhythm and pushes a spit covered finger to the angel's puckered entrance. He goes slowly. He wants to make sure Cass isn't punishing himself. He gets the finger working to open his lover, and adds a second finger, pushing in quick, but angled just right for maximum pleasure.

Cass lets a seductive groan out and spreads his legs wider, trying to get more, needing more than just fingers, but Dean is taking his time. Slow sex can be punishment as well Cass thinks as Dean adds a twist to the finger movement and hits the sweet spot, twice. He bucks his hips up and moans Dean's name.

Dean really, really wishes he had lube, spit only does so much. He adds spit to his hand and strokes his cock while he pushes his fingers in and out of Cass, slow and steady.

Cass has had enough of this torture and grabs Dean by the hair, pulling him up to his face. "Fuck me already, dammit."

Dean kisses Cass with all the need, passion and desire he feels at the thought of Cass wanting him forever. Dean pushes his fingers in more deeply as Cass rubs his own spit on Dean's throbbing erection. After a very long, very hot tongue battle for dominance Dean pulls away and slips his fingers out, lining up his cock to Cass' stretched, open entrance. He slides in slowly and waits a few seconds. The tightness that is Cass is such an overwhelming feeling Dean needs to take a calming breath before he fucks Cass rough and hard. He is determined to show more patience this time; Cass is still heartbroken by him leaving. He needs to show just how much he, his angel, his lover, his savour means to him, how much he wishes he could change the past, not go to Lisa, not take a year off thinking Sam was dead, when in fact he was alive, but soulless and hunting with their grandfather, Samuel.

Cass comes back to his body with a sigh. Dean feels the need to prove himself.

Showing emotions for Cass means something to the hunter, wanting Cass to know he loved him, still loves him more than some chick he thought he wanted, more than some kid that he thought was his, more than some house with a fence and a yard and a pick-up truck. Cass is his life, his soul's other half, and he can't deny the emotional attachment.

Dean pulls out and thrust backs in roughly, but trying to show love, devotion, his need to connect on a spiritual level, as well as physical. He leans down and kisses Cass, keeping a rhythm to his movements and grunting as he pushes his cock deep inside the angel of his choosing. He knows now he should have showed Cass this devotion when Sam jumped in. He should have chosen the angel, not some past fling, but his current fling, his lover for all time.

Dean's fingers wrap around Cass' cock and he matches his thrusts and his strokes, not more than a few strokes later and Cass' right hand is stroking in time with Dean's. They both jerk Cass off as Dean pushes into Cass. They keep this up for a solid five minutes before Cass moans and orgasms all over his naked abdomen and chest.

Dean pumps Cass full of his seed not long after, how could he last long with Cass squeezing him so tight, the warmth was just too much. They are both panting as they reach euphoria. Dean collapses onto Cass with a groan and pulls out slowly, hearing Cass' hiss. "Sorry," Dean murmurs as he licks up the spilt seed off Cass' chest.

Benny has great timing, of course and appears soon after, "I know how you two enjoy your little romps, but now we have a problem. Get dressed, we need the angel."

Cass grabs his shirt and pants, slipping them on quickly as he follows Benny to their campsite. Standing by the fire is a werewolf and a shifter. Cass can see their souls, even though it's dark. He can also see they are deceptive. He locates his grace and smites them dead.

Dean comes running up carrying the trench coat and looking worried.

"It's okay, problem solved. They heard about the human and wanted to "pretend' interest in helping us."

Dean just nods and hands the coat to his lover and friend. "Let's get some rest."

"I'll take first watch." Cass states as he takes a seat beside the fire, away from the dead monsters.

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**I hope this was satisfactory. I'm thinking one more chapter, just covering how Castiel feels about his redemption and getting out of Purgatory.**


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